{"id":5507,"date":"2025-12-04T17:40:59","date_gmt":"2025-12-04T17:40:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beyondfinance.com\/blog\/?p=5507"},"modified":"2026-05-08T18:04:40","modified_gmt":"2026-05-08T18:04:40","slug":"holiday-spending-how-to-be-more-intentional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beyondfinance.com\/blog\/holiday-spending-how-to-be-more-intentional\/","title":{"rendered":"Holiday Spending: How To Be More Intentional"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Reviewed by <\/em>Nathan Astle<\/em><\/a>, CFT-I\u2122<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s pretty universally agreed upon that the holidays can be stressful, and let\u2019s face it: that\u2019s in large part because of the pressures to spend<\/a>. Hosting, decorating, gift-giving \u2026 we\u2019re all aware of how much that can add up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in a recent client Financial Wellness Session, our financial therapists Dr. Erika Rasure and Nathan Astle shared some important insights about how we can turn this time into one focused on values and well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Rasure points to the fact that these are timely discussions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is the time of year where we can start inviting friends and family to start having meaningful conversations about our holiday spending expectations \u2014 ideally before the big shopping rush begins!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These types of conversations aren\u2019t about being restrictive \u2014 instead, they aim to protect your emotional and financial well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey help set boundaries around spending and this can reduce that stress, that guilt, and even that disappointment. This shared sense of coming into the holiday season with this idea of presence over presents<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read on to explore the rest of our experts\u2019 enlightening wisdom from this recent session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Plan Ahead? The Power of Being Intentional<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Nathan Astle emphasized why these conversations matter before<\/em> the decorations go up:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe want this next season to be one that you feel good about\u2026 something you are choosing rather than being swept away in the cultural expectations or the emotions of the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The goal isn\u2019t to spend more or less \u2014 it\u2019s to spend on purpose<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHoliday spending tends to be bigger\u2026 that\u2019s not good, that\u2019s not bad\u2026 but it is something we get to choose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for those in debt, being honest about holiday spending needs can feel scary or shameful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA lot of folks are ashamed or scared to talk about what\u2019s going on in their financial life, and unfortunately that leads to a lot of people feeling isolated and alone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Astle, talking about it, even in small ways, can open the door to connection:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhatever you decide to do, do it on purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where Tradition Meets Intention<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In relationships, habits can become invisible scripts \u2014 especially around the holidays. Dr. Rasure said that we tend to give gifts out of either habit or a sense of obligation (not real meaning):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf these habits are left unchecked, this can unfortunately lead to resentment instead of connection.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She shared one of her own personal experiences:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just remember calling up my brother one day and I said, \u2018I don\u2019t like how we do this anymore.\u2019 It didn\u2019t feel like our Christmas tradition had any personality so we ended up settling on creating our own holiday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They dubbed it \u201cBirth-Mas,\u201d and the tradition now consists of an annual concert. Incidentally, the new tradition has proved to provide more meaning and fulfillment than the gift-giving ever did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt creates real room to breathe around spending so when the holidays roll around, it\u2019s one less thing we have to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This intentional shift led to a reminder for everyone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSetting seasonal financial values can help optimize both your financial and your emotional wellbeing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choosing What Matters: Values Over Stuff<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Astle encouraged everyone to begin with a simple question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s actually most important for you in this next season? Can you figure out if you\u2019re living in a way that\u2019s aligned with those values?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you land on what matters (what really<\/em> matters), the conversations become a lot easier. And there are ways to frame your choices in a bright light:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m so proud of myself that I\u2019m achieving some financial goals\u2026 I\u2019m working toward improving my financial health\u2026 so I\u2019m hoping this year we can do something a little different.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This approach does two important things:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. It reinforces your progress.
    <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. It removes shame from the conversation.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    As Astle added:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cGetting out of debt is an amazing goal that we can feel proud of.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He also reminded listeners that other people may welcome simpler traditions too:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cTaking the pressure off of us often takes the pressure off of them as well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And there are countless ways to celebrate without overspending:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cA white elephant gift from something already in your house\u2026 something homemade\u2026 a potluck instead of honey baked ham\u2026 experiences\u2026 coupon books like when you were five!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Saying \u2018No\u2019 Is an Act of Care<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Dr. Rasure highlighted a key insight:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWhen you give yourself permission to say \u2018no,\u2019 you are, in a lot of ways, giving other people permission to say \u2018no.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Events, group gifts, showers, dinners, expectations \u2014 the pressure adds up fast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cSaying yes out of obligation is an emotional and often financial burden you don\u2019t need to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Instead, she reframed boundary setting as self-care:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cSaying no is such an act of emotional and financial self-care. No one cares about your money as much as you do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And sometimes, you<\/em> will be the one who has to initiate the change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to say, \u2018This is the change I need to make before change on a grander scale can happen.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The General Emotional Weight of the Season<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Aside from spending and any other expectations, holidays can often stir up uncomfortable emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cFor a lot of people, the holidays are a season of nostalgia, and not always the best kind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Grief, loneliness, stress, and old memories can all drive emotional spending.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cIt\u2019s not uncommon to buy things because we feel lonely or pressured or stressed out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That\u2019s why Dr. Rasure encourages a moment of pause:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cBefore you spend, seek to connect with yourself first\u2026 take a moment to rest and ground yourself<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And remember that simple actions count:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWalking out of the store\u2026 closing down the Amazon app for a couple days\u2026 turning your phone on vibrate. All of those things are OK.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    She closed the session with a reminder that should echo long after the season ends:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cThere is not one right way to do the holiday season, but there is a way where you can bring awareness to it and hopefully bring a little more joy and peace.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    Finding Peace This Season<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Ultimately, the holidays really don\u2019t have to feel rushed, pressured, or financially overwhelming. They can be peaceful, intentional, and connective \u2014 as long as we choose for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And as Astle said so well:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWe want this next season to be one you feel good about.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Learn why it’s so important to plan ahead, have conversations before holiday spending, and why sometimes saying ‘no’ is an act of self-care.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":5508,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-financial-habits"],"yoast_head":"\nHoliday Spending: How To Be More Intentional - Beyond Finance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn why it's so important to plan ahead, have conversations before holiday spending, and why sometimes saying 'no' is an act of self-care.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beyondfinance.com\/blog\/holiday-spending-how-to-be-more-intentional\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Holiday Spending: How To Be More Intentional - 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