Money, Gender, and Mindset: How Social Norms Shape Our Financial Habits

ByNathan Astle

This article was originally published in Psychology Today on March 24, 2025. Nathan Astle is a monthly contributor to Psychology Today.

From an early age, we are socialized to think about money in different ways based on our gendered experiences. These learned behaviors influence how we earn, save, spend, and even experience financial stress. While financial differences may exist across genders, it is the way we are socialized around money that often deepens these distinctions.

How Socialization Shapes Financial Mindsets

Consider the financial roles you were exposed to growing up. Were boys encouraged to focus on earning potential, while girls were advised to be cautious savers? Did men in your family take on investment decisions while women managed the household budget? These subtle yet powerful messages shape financial habits that extend into adulthood, influencing everything from our beliefs about debt to career choices.

For example, research suggests that when men earn extra income, they are more likely to spend it on personal wants and hobbies, whereas women are more inclined to allocate extra money toward family needs and household necessities. These patterns are not inherently good or bad, but they reflect longstanding social expectations that may not align with personal values or financial goals.

The Gendered Lens of Debt

Gender shapes how we experience and react to financial challenges. Men often internalize financial strain, viewing it as a reflection of their identity and a personal failure, particularly because of societal expectations tied to being a provider. Alternatively, women may spiral into shame when overspending, as they feel torn between the pressure to be frugal and their desire to spend money on themselves.

These gendered responses highlight how our financial behaviors are shaped by cultural norms and expectations, influencing our emotional responses and the way we view money, success, and personal worth. Dissecting these dynamics helps us challenge harmful financial narratives and create a healthier, more empowered relationship with money.

Reflecting on Your Own Financial Story

Understanding how socialization has shaped your financial mindset can help you make more intentional decisions. Consider these questions:

  • What financial values were emphasized in your upbringing? Were they different for different genders in your family?
  • How do you approach saving, spending and investing? Can you trace those behaviors back to early financial lessons?
  • Do you find that you take on certain financial responsibilities based on tradition rather than preference?
  • Have societal expectations influenced how you feel about financial success or struggles?

Moving Toward Financial Awareness and Financial Wellness

Becoming aware of how gendered financial expectations influence your decisions is a critical step toward financial independence and achieving financial wellness. Whether you’re managing finances on your own or with a partner, challenging traditional assumptions can lead to a healthier, more balanced financial approach.

To put this reflection into action, try the money story timeline exercise. Create a timeline of key financial moments in your life, then list the financial values you were taught. By recognizing these ingrained financial habits, you can make choices that better align with your personal goals and values.

Keep in mind that our financial behaviors aren’t solely dictated by gender. They’re influenced by values, experiences, and choices we make. Whether you’re navigating a relationship, raising children, or managing your finances independently, it’s important to create a financial system that’s right for you. If you’re in a partnership, aim for egalitarian financial decisions where both partners share in the planning, decision-making, and mental load of money management.

Ultimately, financial decisions are personal. Understanding how gender roles shape your financial mindset can empower you to break free from limiting narratives and make intentional and confident money decisions, leading to long-term financial wellness.